


Stygian

by Dispatches (orphan_account)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Community: choc_fic, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-10
Updated: 2010-05-10
Packaged: 2017-10-09 09:39:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Dispatches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the first choc_fic challenge. Prompt #6. "Stargate: Atlantis, Teyla/Elizabeth: amnesia: 'never saw blue like that before'"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stygian

The script around the edge of the device was partly worn away, which was why Rodney had allegedly told Colonel Sheppard not to touch it "and, actually, I don't think he meant to, especially after I translated the one word I could recognise -- "

"Which was 'amnesia'?"

Rodney nodded, looking thoroughly exasperated. "And when he touched it, he sort of slumped to the ground, and the device fell out of his hands, and that must have been when Teyla touched it. Again, unintentionally. And now they've both been zapped, and neither of them can remember anything, not even their own names."

"It's a little more complicated than that," said Dr Keller. "I've done brain scans on both of them," she said, "and from what I can tell, the device has only affected the cerebral cortex, and the effect is temporary. Procedural memory should be intact, and so should emotional memory -- their limbic systems weren't affected, so they'll have the same instinctive reactions to sights and sounds and smells as before, though they won't necessarily know why."

"Sounds disorienting," said Elizabeth. "How long will the effect last?"

"It's hard to tell, but probably no more than a few days," said Dr Keller. "Ah. I would guess," she added, looking less certain, "that if you... showed them around, you know, familiar sights? That would, well, it might speed the process up a little. It couldn't do any harm, anyway."

"Sounds sensible to me," said Elizabeth. "What about Ronon? Is he all right?"

Dr Keller smiled indulgently. "He'll be fine. A little embarrassed, given how he got his injury..."

Elizabeth raised one eyebrow. Rodney smirked. "He slipped on a wet patch of grass and hit his head on a rock."

Elizabeth bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. "I take it the injury isn't serious?"

"No, but I want to keep him here overnight for observation."

"Well, in that case," said Elizabeth, "why don't you look after Colonel Sheppard, Rodney, and I'll show Teyla around the city, maybe take her for a trip to the mainland to see the Athosians." Rodney opened his mouth, no doubt to object that his time was far too valuable to be spent playing nursemaid, and she raised a hand to quell him. "You don't have to do anything special, just -- take him with you. You two spend so much time together anyway, I doubt you'll find it a hardship."

Rodney scowled. "He's hardly himself at the moment. No, no, it's okay, I'll do it, I just -- never mind."

Elizabeth raised one eyebrow at that, but declined to pursue it. If she tried to keep track of all the ups and downs in Rodney's relationship with Sheppard, she'd never have time for anything else.

Instead she let him wander towards the corner where Sheppard was ensconced (muttering under his breath all the while), and turned to Teyla's bed, where Teyla was lying on her side with her face angled away from the rest of the room. "Teyla?"

There was a moment's hesitation before the other woman turned to look at Elizabeth, her face open and guileless. "I am sorry," she said. "I am -- not used to this name. Everything is -- " (she shook her head, smiling a little) " -- everything is strange to me. I am as one new-born."

Elizabeth smiled, feeling a nameless worry dissipating. Teyla looked relaxed and strangely young, and Elizabeth suddenly felt reluctant to say what she had meant to say.

Instead she inclined her head and said "Perhaps I could show you around the city? Dr Keller says that the effect will wear off by itself in a few days, but being shown places that were familiar to you might speed up the process."

"Yes, I -- yes, please. Though," Teyla frowned and tilted her head in a way Elizabeth had never seen her do before, "I am afraid I do not remember your name."

"Oh, of course! I'm so sorry, I should have thought -- I'm Elizabeth. Dr Elizabeth Weir."

Teyla smiled, so bright and so joyful that Elizabeth's breath caught in her throat. "I am glad to know you, Elizabeth," she said. "We are friends, are we not? Dr Keller said I would feel the same way about the people I meet, although I would not remember where the feelings came from. I feel -- I am sure we two are good friends."

"Yes, we are," said Elizabeth quickly; a little too quickly, perhaps, though Teyla didn't seem to notice. She swung her legs down over the side of the bed. "I am eager to be away from this room. It makes me feel uncomfortable. If you will lead me -- "

"Everyone's uncomfortable in the infirmary, except the doctors," said Elizabeth, taking Teyla gently by the elbow and leading her towards the nearest transporter. Teyla stared at everything: the walls, the ceiling, the people they passed, the stained glass of the transporter's doors. "This is a transporter," Elizabeth said, waving at the map on the wall. "It can take us to any of these areas of the city -- here," (she tapped the area designated for living quarters and waved the doors open once the transporter had done its thing) "do you see?"

Teyla saw. Her eyes were so wide and so full of awe that Elizabeth found herself looking at the transporter's walls and doors again, as if for the first time. "How extraordinary!" Teyla said, stepping out into the corridor gingerly, craning her head forward.

"Yes," said Elizabeth, surprising herself with the smallness of her voice. "Yes, it is."

Teyla turned to look at her, her face bright like a sunrise. "Where were you going to take me?"

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "I thought -- your quarters?" At that, Teyla tilted her head and looked thoughtful rather than enthusiastic, so Elizabeth went on "Though, actually, it's up to you. And of course, your quarters won't be any more familiar to you than any other part of the city. I could show you the gateroom, the jumper bay, the labs, the mess hall -- if there's a pilot free, I could take you on a trip to the mainland, and you could talk to your people."

Teyla frowned. "My... people? Are you not my people?"

Elizabeth felt a tightness in her chest, like someone's fist had clenched around her heart. There were so many traps laid at her feet, so many things she could get wrong. This was worse than negotiating with the Genii. "I think," she said slowly, "you're as much one of us as anyone here. But we... the people who live in the city, apart from you, don't come from this planet, or even this galaxy. You don't come from this planet either, but you do come from this galaxy, from a planet called Athos. You and your tribe came to live here when -- "

She paused. Teyla had forgotten everything that had ever happened to her, including her father dying, the Wraith coming to Athos, the siege, Ford, Michael. She had lived her entire life in the shadow of the Wraith, and now that history of pain and fear had been wiped away, as if it had never been.

"You came here when we first arrived from Earth," she said. "Athos was the first world in this galaxy, apart from this one, that we explored. You... wanted to help us, to be a guide for us. We knew nothing about this galaxy, we didn't have any friends or allies. We would have been lost without you. And your people came with you -- they stayed in the city at first, and then -- well, then Colonel Sheppard discovered the continent your people live on, and they moved out there. You've kept in touch, of course. It's only twenty minutes away by jumper."

"But I live here, in the city?"

"Yes. You have quarters here, and you go on missions, exploring with Colonel Sheppard and Dr McKay, and Ronon. And you help me with negotiations."

"I... see." Teyla looked around them at the decorated columns with water bubbling through them; they were part of the desalinisation system, Elizabeth thought, or so Rodney had once claimed. "This place seems... It is strange. It feels... familiar, comfortable. Like my home. And yet, I remember nothing about it! Just as I remember nothing about you, and yet -- I do not merely _believe_ we are friends; I _know_ it, but if you asked me _how_ I knew -- "

Elizabeth touched her arm. "It must be terribly confusing," she said, because it seemed like the right thing to say, although Teyla didn't look confused.

"No," said Teyla, inclining her head. "I feel very sure of myself. I know that I am home, that I am with my friends. And Dr Keller assured me that the amnesia would fade after a few days. This is -- I think I like it."

"Well!" said Elizabeth, surprised. "I suppose the device that did this to you and Colonel Sheppard was made by the Ancients, after all. They had some strange ideas, but they were very advanced."

"The Ancients? Ah, wait -- they were the ones who built this city?"

"That's right. Are you remembering?"

Teyla smiled ruefully and shook her head. "I heard Dr McKay mentioning them earlier."

"I suppose it's too soon." Elizabeth stepped back. Teyla hadn't moved since they'd left the transporter; she wasn't sure whether she was waiting on Elizabeth's lead or simply didn't want to go anywhere. "Would you like to see your quarters? I can take you anywhere in the city. As I said, it's up to you."

Teyla looked around her, and looked at Elizabeth. Elizabeth held her breath. It shocked her, how much she wanted to stay with Teyla, to have Teyla stay with her.

"I would like to see the city," Teyla said at last, "and then I would like to see this land, where the -- where my people are living."

"I'll show you around," said Elizabeth, and as she led Teyla to a balcony from which she could see the city spread out below her, she felt her pulse quickening, as if Teyla's excitement was airborne.

*

It took them the rest of the day to look over the city, even limiting themselves to the parts that were either in active use or cleared as safe to visit. Teyla looked at the walls and the towers and the windows and the consoles, looked at the faces of the people working, looked at the ocean from the highest balconies; Elizabeth looked at Teyla, Teyla's sparkling eyes and wide smile and cheeks flushed from the wind. She had known Teyla for three years, and yet she felt as if she had never seen her before this day.

The next morning, she radioed Halling so that he would know to expect them, and when he had said his customary thanks, added "Halling, I should tell you, Teyla's been struck with amnesia. It's temporary, but for the time being, she doesn't remember anything. She won't recognise you, or anyone else, so be prepared."

"I understand, Dr Weir. Was there anything else?"

Elizabeth hesitated. It was, perhaps, an indulgence, and yet... "I haven't told her about the Wraith. I think... I think it would do her good to have a couple of days when she doesn't know about them."

There was a brief silence on the line, then an audible sigh. "That would be a very great gift," said Halling. "You are wise to think of it."

"Oh, well," Elizabeth shrugged, unable to stop the reflex movement even though Halling couldn't see it. "I just think she deserves a vacation, after everything she's been through."

"I will tell the others," said Halling. "She will not learn of the Wraith from us."

"Thank you," said Elizabeth, and she cut the connection.

She let Teyla sit in the front beside Sergeant Cole during the flight, despite the pang this gave her when she realised she wouldn't be able to see Teyla's face as they flew, because this wasn't supposed to be about her; yet Teyla seemed to sense Elizabeth's desire, or only to want to share her joy, for as they swooped down over sea and land, she turned around and caught Elizabeth's eye, a fierce and flaming smile on her face that made Elizabeth's heart leap in her chest. Elizabeth had seen Teyla angry, sad, determined; once or twice she had seen her happy. She had never seen her possessed by such a wild and naked joy.

When they reached the Athosians' camp, she excused herself and left Teyla with the others, murmuring some platitude about family, some lie about needing to talk to Halling. Teyla's head turned to watch her as she left, some question in her eyes that Elizabeth shied away from. Even for a few days, it wasn't safe to be somebody's lifeline.

She had been walking through the trees for half an hour when a storm broke out. She hurried back to the camp, cursing her lack of a raincoat, and found Sergeant Cole huddling miserably in one of the tents, his uniform soaked through. He stood to attention when she arrived. "Ma'am," he said, "I'd advise not trying to fly back until this storm lets up."

Elizabeth suppressed a smile. The storm wasn't _that_ strong, but Cole was a nervous flier in anything but optimal conditions. "I'm sure Teyla will appreciate the extra time with her people," she said. "I'll radio the city to expect us back when the storm's died down."

But the storm didn't die down all that day. Teyla and Elizabeth and Sergeant Cole stayed inside the tent while the oldest of the Athosians told stories that the younger ones had heard so many times they no longer cared to listen. Cole frowned and fidgeted through most of them, and Elizabeth could detect the gaps and faultlines in the stories where mentions of the Wraith had been omitted or changed, but Teyla had never heard the stories before, and she listened with a rapt expression on her face. Once again, Elizabeth found herself watching Teyla, unable to look elsewhere. _I will never see this again,_ she said to herself. _I must remember this, savour it. I will never see this again._

They stayed in the tent of a round-faced, exuberant woman called Gidren who claimed to be Teyla's cousin -- for all Elizabeth knew, she was, although Teyla had never mentioned her. Cole had volunteered to sleep in the jumper, more, Elizabeth thought, because the Athosians made him nervous than because he thought he'd be more comfortable there. Gidren made up two bedrolls side by side in a curtained-off chamber hung with furs and hides; Teyla nodded when she saw it and said "This feels... not familiar, exactly, but... right."

"You must have slept in tents like this a lot," said Elizabeth as she unlaced her shoes and unhooked her bra. "More than you've slept in your quarters in Atlantis, in fact."

Teyla snuggled down into her bedroll, wrapping a spare blanket around herself. "I like my quarters in the city better," she said, yawning and smiling at Elizabeth as if she were sharing a private joke.

Elizabeth smiled back as if she got the joke, though really, she didn't think it was funny at all.

*

The next morning, Elizabeth woke with a crick in her neck. She got up slowly, rubbing at the place where her neck met her left shoulder, and started when she saw that Teyla's bedroll was empty. "Teyla?" she said, poking her head past the curtain, only to see Gidren kneading dough on a flat stone.

"Teyla went to watch the sun rise," said Gidren. "Out east of here. She said she wouldn't go far."

"Thank you," said Elizabeth. She ducked back into their chamber and shoved her feet into her shoes, tying the laces as deftly as she could in a hurry, and left the tent, heading east.

Teyla was standing on a hill a few minutes' walk away from the camp, her face lifted up to the sky, so alive and so beautiful that for a moment Elizabeth couldn't breathe. Then Teyla saw her, and smiled, and Elizabeth felt a lump rise in her throat.

"Did you ever see so blue a sky?" said Teyla, and she was right, for the storm had passed and the sky was bluer than Elizabeth had ever seen it, the wet grass shining in the sun like it had been sprinkled with diamonds; but Elizabeth could barely see any of it.

"Teyla," she said, not knowing what she wanted to say, but needing to say _something_, anything, to get herself back in control of the situation.

Teyla stepped closer to her and wiped away a tear she hadn't realised was falling down her cheek. "Do not cry," she said. "I know I have forgotten much -- I do not remember us -- but my feelings have not changed. I feel the same way for you as I always have."

Elizabeth couldn't stop herself from leaning into Teyla's touch, even as she was saying "No, Teyla -- you don't understand -- "

"I understand," said Teyla, kissing away another tear. "I understand perfectly," she said, and then they were kissing for real, their lips pressing together and parting, and Elizabeth's hands had moved to Teyla's waist without her meaning them to.

It took a ferocious act of will to wrench her mouth away from Teyla's. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice hoarse, "but you've misunderstood. We never -- you and I aren't -- it's not like that."

Teyla stepped back, her hand fluttering to her mouth. For the first time since her memory loss, she looked uncertain, and Elizabeth cursed herself for putting that look on Teyla's face. "I thought," said Teyla haltingly, "I thought you looked at me as if... and I _feel_ so..."

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth repeated, feeling useless and stupid. "I can't -- I can't pretend I wouldn't be happy if we were, but we're not. And I... Teyla, I don't know why you never said anything, but I'm sure you had your reasons, and when you remember them, you won't be pleased with me for taking advantage."

Teyla rubbed her forehead, a rueful look on her face. "I do not suppose you would believe me if I were to say you would not be taking advantage?"

Elizabeth closed her eyes. She had never let herself think about Teyla like this, never let herself imagine what it would be like to feel Teyla's lips against hers, Teyla's strong arms wrapped around her, Teyla's breasts pressed up against her back. Somehow she must have known that once she had had a taste of it, even in her imagination, it would be harder to give up than heroin. "I want to believe that," she said, opening her eyes. "I want to believe it so much that I don't trust myself."

Teyla nodded gravely, an echo of her old seriousness returning to her face. "I will come back to you, when I have remembered," she said. "This is not over."

Elizabeth wanted to believe that, too. "Perhaps," she said, and turned back towards the jumper without another word.

*

She was in her office with Colonel Sheppard when his memory returned the next day, telling him a somewhat edited version of the Genii siege. "No, no, it wasn't like that," he said, interrupting her, "Teyla and Ford and Carson didn't show up until after the grounding station was already damaged, so you and Rodney had to -- "

"You remember," she said, interrupting him right back. He blinked, raised one eyebrow, and said "Huh. I... guess I do," with that grin that was either infuriating or charming, depending on her mood.

She had barely spoken to Teyla since they had returned from the mainland, and now she found herself making excuses not to be in the same room alone. It was foolish, she knew; delaying the inevitable. Eventually Teyla would come to her and say -- say _what_, she didn't know, but something disappointing. Something that would make her heart sink in her chest.

That evening, she was curled up on her bed with a book, her eyes sliding over the print without taking it in, when her door-chime sounded. She closed her eyes and shuddered. _This is it._

"Come in," she said, standing up.

Teyla came in, and it made Elizabeth shudder again to see her wrapped up in her old caution and reserve, no longer carefree. "Elizabeth," she said, standing just inside the threshold as if she were unsure of her welcome, "I wanted to thank you. I have lived all my life under the shadow of the Wraith, and... you gave me three days without that shadow. It was a most precious gift. I cannot thank you enough."

Elizabeth ducked her head. "You were so happy," she said softly. "I didn't want to spoil it for you."

Teyla stepped forward. "There is something else," she said.

Elizabeth looked up. "Tell me," she said, her heart pounding.

Teyla opened her mouth, closed it, looked down, looked up, made a frustrated gesture with her hands, and finally just closed the distance between them and kissed her.

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Teyla, not meaning to let go for a long time. She licked her way into Teyla's mouth, sliding her hands up beneath Teyla's shirt to touch skin just as Teyla's hands moved down to stroke lightly over her ass.

Teyla broke the kiss, resting her forehead on Elizabeth's in a gesture that thrilled Elizabeth to the core. "I told you this was not over," she panted.

Elizabeth licked her lips and tightened her hold. "I'm glad. Oh, Teyla, I'm so glad."

*

Later, when they were sated and drowsy with Teyla's head resting on Elizabeth's sweat-slick stomach, Elizabeth stroked a lock of hair out of Teyla's eyes and asked, "Why was it that you didn't say anything before now? It seems like you've been feeling this way for a while."

"Too long," said Teyla, pressing a kiss to Elizabeth's navel.

"Far too long," Elizabeth agreed, grinning. Then her hand went still. "But you didn't answer."

Teyla lifted her head to meet Elizabeth's eyes. "In all honesty? I remember having reasons. I remember thinking they were good. But I do not remember what they were."

"I had reasons too," said Elizabeth, and it felt like a confession. "I don't remember them either."

Teyla pulled herself up the bed so they were face-to-face, and kissed her. "Then we must thank the Ancestors for the gift of amnesia."

"Yes," said Elizabeth, stroking the side of her face. "Amnesia, and blue skies."

[end]


End file.
